i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
