too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
this will be a night to untag.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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