worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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