Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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