I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
