HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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