when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
