I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
dude. I can hear the air.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
