i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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