Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
