Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
