I just saw a hot homeless man
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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