I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
