have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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