I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
