bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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