College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
