my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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