New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
