My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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