the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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