I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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