He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
