do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
