I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
