yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
