the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
