Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
