I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
