Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
