Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
