You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
