Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
