And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
