i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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