isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My ATM looks so different sober.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
