This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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