You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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