i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
