i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
