So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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