pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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