I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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