i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
