This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
