so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
