i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
