I think I am morally bankrupt
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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