afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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