Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't turn off my feet"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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