just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
