if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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