I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Actions speak louder than pants.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have already put on my inside pants.
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