We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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